If you want to walk about on the beach without being fat, a top nutritionist has revealed the diet you need to lose weight FAST! And the ingredients could be in your own backyard.
Nutritionist Sondra Kale has worked with Carol Vorderman and the stars of Geordie Shore to improve their figures. She’s devised an ingenious diet plan that even the busiest mum or Career Woman can fit around their lifestyle. It’s called the ‘Dog Poo & Gravel’ plan, and you could see results in a little as 3 days.
“Whereas other diet plans have you buying organic Spirulina and snorting powdered leeches, this plan focuses on only two ingredients. If you’ve already got a dog then you’re definitely in luck,” said Sondra, throwing the ingredients for a dog poo smoothie together.
“Basically, on this plan you can eat whatever you want. You love donuts? Have one! You like Chinese food? Order as much as you like! Then, when you’re sitting in front of your food, you simply add a dog turd and pour some gravel on it,”
“It’s not a diet,” insists Sondra. “It’s a lifestyle,”
The plan begins with a delicious detox smoothie. Containing oranges, apples and bananas, this is sure to set you up for the day.
“Add one large or two small dog poos to the smoothie. Don’t add gravel yet, because it might break the blender, but you can sprinkle some over afterwards,” beams Sondra, before pouring the smoothie down the sink and putting the glass in the dishwasher.
“For lunch, I’m going to have a healthy salad, but I’ll have that with a baked potato and some cottage cheese. Then I’ll go outside and see if my Yorkshire Terrier Sadie has had a crap, and put that right in the middle of my baked potato, and sprinkle gravel all over the salad, then put the whole lot in the bin.”
“For dinner, if I’m at home I’ll have something simple like a plate of rice and steamed vegetables. I keep the dog turds in the freezer and just add them to the rice while it’s cooking. My husband is taking me out tonight though, so I’ll get Sadie to shit into a Tupperware box before we go, and I’ll probably pick up some gravel off the floor outside the restaurant,”
So far Sondra has lost over 40 pounds on the Dog Poo & Gravel diet, and her teeth have started falling out.
The Beezly Street Gazette 