Facebook To Test ‘Nobody Cares’ button

Popular social networking site Facebook is to add a new feature. As well as being able to ‘like’, comment or share a status, users will now be able to click a ‘Nobody Cares’ button.


The extra button, which will appear next to the ‘like’ button, will feature a small, crappy icon of a hand with its middle finger raised, next to the words ‘NOBODY CARES’.

It is expected to be popular with users whose Facebook friends post about going to the gym a lot, share Instagrams of their dinner, and post elevety trillion pictures of their ugly, howling children with Spaghetti Hoops all over their face.

Not all users are supportive of the new button. One anonymous user complained that it would take all of the fun out of ‘Vaguebooking’ – the practice of posting a passive-aggressive status about an unnamed user, designed to instil guilt and paranoia in other Facebook users.

“If I post up some vague, attention seeking claptrap designed to elicit sympathy from girls, I’m going to look a right muppet when all my mates click the ‘Nobody Cares’ button. I don’t like this new change at all,”

Said Brian Moron, a student from Merseyside.

Some users have criticised the move as a cynical attempt to hike up interactions on Facebook, so that they can charge advertisers more money.

“That’s exactly what it is,” said Oscar Satan, who is in charge of testing the new button. “We all know how rude people are on the Internet, when you can’t physically get punched in the face. This is just making it much easier to be rude and dismissive.