Women’s Shoes ‘50% More Stupid’ Than Last Year

A new study on women’s shoe trends has confirmed that fashionable new shoes are up to 30% more ridiculous, 48% less practical and at least 50% more stupid than this time last year.


A spokesperson for the Society For Stupid Shoes said:

“We’ve seen fashions come and go. But 2015 has been a bumper year for utterly ridiculous clod-hoppers that women can barely walk in. They’re even more ugly and wanky than we ever thought possible. If this trend continues, we’ll all be walking about with live trout on our feet, or wearing shoes in the shape of London busses, with little exhaust pipes pumping out smoke on the back,”

Shoe designer Manolo Blahnik recently unveiled a collection made from cabbage-leaves decorated with live snails with gilded shells that slowly eat the shoe from around your foot. Topshop plans to rip them off immediately, and it is expected that they will ‘walk off the shelves’, according to a head buyer.

“Women today are regularly wearing shoes so baffling, that they make Lady Gaga look like Nora Batty. We don’t fully understand the reasons for this, but we’re glad that people think really ugly, stupid shoes are brilliant,”