Iceman ‘Relieved’ To Come Out Of Closet

One of the founding members of X-Men has opened up about his relief at finally being able to come out of the closet. Robert Lewis ‘Bobby’ Drake has spoken about his experiences growing up as both a gay man and a future superhero.

iceman

“My father is Catholic and my Mother’s Jewish. It’s not been easy. My friends were always like “Bobby, you’ve got to come out of the fridge some time you know,”

Said the star, speaking to Vanity Fair.

“I’ve dated a few women. Lorna Dane and I are still good friends. But it was hard being so far in the closet that I was practically in Narnia, and it feels good to say yes, I am as gay as a lark. And if you don’t like it, I will turn you into an ice-sculpture and make you the centrepiece of Elton Johns next birthday party,”

When asked about the fan’s reaction to the news, he said that most fans were supportive, and that some fans had even guessed.

“I think lots of people in the industry have probably guessed, but that’s not the same thing as making it official. In an episode of Family Guy, they wrote me going to a gay bar. I thought that sucked a little, as it’s not anyone else’s business to call attention to somebody in that way, unless they’re already being up front about it. But considering what they did to Carol Burnett, I think I got off lightly,”

There has been some criticism from fans that Marvel is ‘turning’ characters gay in an attempt to be more diverse.

“Well, first of all, I’ve actually always been gay. That’s not something I could have stood up and said in the 1960’s. Also, a little diversity is a good thing. I think anybody that wets their pants and gets upset because a fictional character turns out to be gay, probably just needs to grow up a little.

When asked if he was going to feature in a gay lifestyle magazine such as ‘Attitude’, Iceman stated that he wouldn’t rule it out, although as a Superhero, he was a role model, and any shirtless photo shoots would have to be ‘very tastefully done, and the popsicle is staying in the wrapper,”

New Game Of Thrones To Contain 50% More Tits

The new season of the popular HBO fantasy series ‘Game of Thrones’ is to contain up to 50% more actresses’ tits.

game of thrones

The writers of the show said:

“Although this is one of the best written shows out there at the moment, it can get a bit dark sometimes. We really felt it needed a couple of extra pairs of breasts jiggling about in each episode, a few more lesbians licking each other’s faces, and a couple more minges. We haven’t decided whose yet,”

The writing team on Game of Thrones are quick to point out that much of the nudity and sex featured in the show is integral to the plot.

“These are pertinent tits that help drive the story forward. Without the actresses’ tits, it would just be a load of really good looking people wandering about on the first day of Glastonbury. By increasing the titty-count on the show and putting more horny lesbian prostitutes in, we can add to the drama and suspense of the show as a whole,”