The forty-six MPs that claimed expenses on rent and hotels, despite having tax payer funded homes in London, are to be sent to a commune & forced to sleep in bunk beds.
MPs wil be greeted by the farm’s ‘Chicken of Judgment’, which will determine their duties during their stay.
Channel 4 news discovered that many MPs were letting out their second homes, and claiming up £20000 a year for rent, or £150 a night for hotels.
The Watchdog for MPs expenses said in a statement:
“Right! That’s it! We’re sending them all to a place called “Happy Home Farm” in the Cotswolds for a month. They can bloody well get up at dawn to feed the chickens after sleeping in uncomfortable bunk beds in draughty yurts, shovel some muck about and spend some time meditating on the nature of ‘Taking The Piss’ when it comes to tax payers money,”
The farm, a commune since 1997, houses many protesters and off-grid travellers, who spend much of their time working and living communally, farming and creating organic vegan knitwear for sale in Selfridges.
“This is fantastic news,”
Said a spokesperson for the commune named Frog.
“They’ll have to pull their weight though. We’ve got lots of lovely organic shit to shovel onto the potato field, and a new drystone wall to build, and we could really use 46 pairs of extra hands right now. We’ve got some spare yurts, and they can always bunk up in the cow shed if there isn’t enough room. We’ll feed them of course, but they’ll have to hurry up and finish all their jobs on time, or there’ll be nothing left,”
None of the MPs available for comment were satisfied with the decision. One unnamed MP was in floods of tears, as he has a phobia of cows and doesn’t want to “sleep in a lumpy bunk bed with a load of smelly hippies”
Frog added:
They’ll all be made very welcome in our 21st century commune, and we hope they’ll enjoy the experience and learn a little about the experience of sharing, and of helping your fellow humans. Apart from the one that said we were smelly hippies. I’ve got a special job for him, and it definitely involves a silage tank.
The Beezly Street Gazette 