The Grim Reaper normally stays out of politics. But he has promised his Twitter fans that he will stop bumping off quite so many popular, funny and well-loved comedians, actors and media personalities in the months following the UK elections.
Nobody knows exactly why this has happened, as Death is notoriously fickle and unpredictable. But the move is welcomed by the public, and popular celebrities themselves.
“I’ve been shitting myself for ages,” said Irish comedian Dylan Moran. Iconic actress Joanna Lumley is reported to have said “Oh thank F*** for that!”
The hooded figure of death itself stopped short of apologizing for the overwhelming demise of popular and much-loved media personalities such as comedians Robin Williams and Rik Mayall, and author Terry Pratchett over the last 12 months, but did promise to knock off some unpopular and unfunny tossers instead. When asked if he meant Katie Hopkins, the dark angel replied:
“NO COMMENT,”
Death’s unpredictable roll of the dice and questionable sense of humour has attracted the attention of gamblers. Bookies are offering odds of 8-1 for the woman that put a cat in a wheelie bin on Youtube, while Jeremy Kyle is Betfair’s odds on favorite.
The Beezly Street Gazette 