police brutality – The Beezly Street Gazette

Spanish Government Unveil Brutal Hologram ‘Protest Police Squad’

The Spanish Government have unveiled their special task force of holographic, armed police officers to deal with future holographic protests, like the one held in front of parliament in Madrid.

A shot of the new holographic police squad, kicking shit through a peaceful activist for his own safety.

The ‘Citizen Safety Police’ will be entirely holographic, and armed with batons, tazers, handcuffs and mace. There will also be highly trained holographic police dogs, horses composed entirely of light, and two completely theoretical tanks authorised to fire on citizens, if it is deemed that they are endangering themselves.

Under Spain’s new ‘Gag Law’ or ‘Citizen Safety Law’ peacefully protesting outside a government building about, for example, a law that prevents citizens from peacefully protesting outside government buildings would be illegal.

A spokesperson for the Spanish Government said:

“You may think you’re very clever, projecting holograms onto a public building, avoiding being arrested and making us all look like pinche idiota. But next time, we will have tanks, dogs and holographic tazers. And we will round you all up, and put you in Hologram Prison!”

LOLCats React To Spain’s New Gag Law

In an effort to tackle police brutality, pesky protestors and ordinary people demanding their moral and human ‘rights’, Spanish Congress has just gone “fuck it” and made a law to send the entire country back to the Dark Ages. We asked a couple of cats with surprised expressions what they thought of the new law.

A spokesperson for Spanish Congress said:

“If we just make photographing the police illegal, organising informal protests on Twitter illegal, charge people loads of money to appeal a court’s decision, let the police have blacklists of people that don’t agree with them, bollock people harshly for civil disobedience and give the police more authority, it’s game over for all these aresey, ordinary people with an axe to grind. Bingo, no more complaining,”

“Hey, whoa, hang on a minute. What century are we living in?”
Said a ginger tom cat from Australia.

The new set of offenses, complete with fines ranging from one hundred to thirty thousand Euros, or prison, come under the new law entitled ‘Citizen Safety Law’.