‘STFU About Leonard Nimoy’s Funeral’ Says God

Dribblingly-mad mouth-pieces of Satan’s hairy backside the Wesboro Baptist Church, have announced plans to picket Leonard Nimoy’s funeral.


In an uncharacteristic break with protocol, the God Above All (not affiliated with any religion) has issued a statement telling them “STFU” for once in their ghastly, ungodly lives.

Notorious for picketing the funerals of fallen soldiers, hate crime victims and celebrities, and for harassing grieving relatives with offensive signs and chants, the small but extremely mouthy organisation have announced plans to picket the funeral of actor Leonard Nimoy.

It is highly unlikely that the church will even turn up, given a history of threatening to picket high-profile events and then chickening out because they will obviously get their heads kicked in, and nobody has time for that, not even homophobic Jesus. Nevertheless, God has issued a statement in Latin, which was burned into a rock in South America earlier today. It simply read:

“Re: Leonard Nimoy’s funeral. WBC, STFU,”

“He stands for everything we hate!”

Said a spokesperson for the church.

“Liking somebody that’s friends with gay people is an abomination! Being an inclusive-minded person that celebrates the joy in life is utterly disgusting! We hate the fag-enabling kindness this creature displayed in his everyday life, and God hates it too,”

“No I bloody well don’t,” said God, in a rare interview. “You’re talking absolute horse-crap as usual. You do know I’m only using you as a tool to bring people together in love instead of hatred don’t you? Most educated five year olds could have worked that one out by now. By all means carry on being loonies, you’re doing a great job. But go anywhere near that funeral, and you’ll have a case of boils so bad your mother won’t be able to look at you,”