Up to 50% of male dogs sometimes get a bit upset about having no balls, a new study has shown.
When questioned, 21% of dogs said yes, now that you come to mention it, I do miss my balls. 9% felt sad about it from time to time, but both sticks and the smell of bacon cheered them up, and a staggering 40% believe that they could have prevented being neutered by being a ‘good boy’.
20% of dogs admitted to mildly missing them “when they had a bit of a lick and a grunt about down there, and remembered that they were missing”.
7 year old Shep from Worksop said:
“I used to have a magnificent pair of balls. I’m brown and white, so one of them was nearly all white and one was nearly all brown. They were amazing.
“I wasn’t any trouble when I had a big old pair of giggleberrys. In fact, I was full of life, vitality and everything you see in the Pedigree Chum adverts. Then one day I went for a ride in the car, met a nice man with a stethoscope around his neck and woke up wearing the Cone of Shame. I’ve been a bit depressed about it to be honest. In between being ridiculous happy because I found a stick, and overjoyed to the point of spontaneous combustion when my owner comes home from work.
“I sometimes sit there staring into space, thinking about my balls. I wonder where they are now, and if they’re happy. Then my owner asks me if I’m a good boy. I think to myself, if that’s what you do to good boys, what on earth do you do to naughty ones?”
The Beezly Street Gazette 