Complete sentences could be obsolete by as early as 2025. The English language is becoming less about communicating complicated ideas, and more about impressing strangers with the posh thing what you have just brought from a shop.
Doctor Phillip Beardnerd, a social media linguist said:
“It’s really two long term trends merging together. People are communicating with minimal words on Twitter and via text message. There’s also the deep need to share every single inane waking thought with loads of other idiots which is probably the result of not being smacked enough as a child. And this is spilling over in the way that we talk.”
“For example, the phrase ‘would you like a cup of tea?’ will sound positively Shakespearian in the year 2030. What you would say in the year 2030 would be “#tea #brew #mmmm #mug #nofiilter’ and the reply would sound something like #tea #nosugar #soya #eatclean #crossfit #paelo’”
Everyday phrases such as “I’m just off to work” will become “#OMG #lovemyjob #traffic #busy’, and going to the toilet would be “#hellyeah #massivedump #reallylongpiss #betteroutthanin #paelo’”
The Beezly Street Gazette 