Kanye Brits Fail Due To ‘Higher Spiritual Vibration With Tupac And Michael Jackson

UK fans of the annual Brits award ceremony were disappointed when half of the rapper’s vocals appeared to be muted. But Kanye claims they weren’t muted – it’s just that only true fans could hear them, and everyone else is a stinky none-believer that doesn’t try hard enough to be a Kanye fan.

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“What a load of shit!” said a fan from Leeds. “I used to like him, but I think he’s a bit of a cock-womble now,”

“What’s the point of even singing if you’re going to mute half of it?” asked loads of other people on Facebook, with some adding “Fuck you Kanye, you’re a dick”

In a statement after the performance, West told reporters that it was not a muddle-up about the watershed, or even due to ignoring advice that he would be muted and ruin the song. He claimed that the missing vocals from the track were “still there” in the song, but only real proper true Kanye fans that have bought all his DVDs and been to loads of gigs could hear them.

“I was on a higher plane during those parts,”

Said the star.

“I’d ascended to rap heaven at that point, and Tupac and Michael Jackson were jamming with me. If you couldn’t hear that, you’re operating on a lower vibration to the true fans, and I pity you and pray for you,”