colour changing dress – The Beezly Street Gazette

Everybody In Entire World Sick Of Hearing About That Dress

Everybody in the entire world is fed up to the arse of hearing about the dress that changes colour, it has been reported.

“Say Blue Dress again,”

An anthropologist studying an indigenous, largely uncontacted tribe in Papua New Guinea has indicated that isolated, hunter-gatherer tribes are also ‘sick to the arse’ of the colour changing dress.

“Obviously these people are not connected to any sort of virtual social network, living as they do in a largely primitive hunting society. Nevertheless, they too are all sick and tired of hearing about the damned dress,”

Said the anthropologist, running away from the angry tribes people as fast as he could and shouting “Sorry! I won’t mention it again!”

Vapid media mouthpiece Doctor Linda Wigglesworth, who has a PhD in stating the blindingly bleeding buggeringly obvious said:

“When it first appeared on our feeds it was new and exciting, and kinda spooky. But I think we’re all a little tired of it now,”

The astronauts aboard the International Space Station gave a statement earlier today that said: “Look, we’re orbiting around the bloody planet and doing some really important stuff, on the terrifying edge of deep space. Can you please stop asking us what colour the sodding dress is?”

While actor Samuel L. Jackson said: “Say blue dress again Motherf****r. Say blue dress one more god damned time,”

Latest news just in – Evil, haunted dress to be burned.

Haunted ‘Colour Changing Dress Of Evil’ To Be Burned

The demonic body-con dress that has tricked the entire world with its evil sorcery, is to be burned in a special ceremony in London, its owner has said.

“I bought it from an old, toothless gypsy woman that turned up on my doorstep at midnight and told me she’d had a vision of me wearing it at a wedding, and terrible things would happen if I didn’t,”

Said the mother of the bride.

“I didn’t think anything odd at the time. But when I tried the dress on, I immediately heard demonic chanting, and saw Satan’s little imps jumping around in the bedroom mirror. I just put it down to indigestion because my Spanx were too tight,”

But things took a turn for the sinister on the day of the wedding, when she was complimented on the colour of the dress.

“I could have sworn it was blue. But some nasty old bat on the husband’s side of the family tutted at me and mumbled something about only brides wearing white to a wedding. I couldn’t understand what she was on about. I got a couple of funny looks on the day, and somebody said the dress was a ‘very brave choice’ and that was a bit strange. Blue has always suited me. I got really paranoid and thought oh well, at least I like it even if nobody else does,”

After the controversy hit the Internet, it became clear that only sinners saw the dress as being blue, while the pure of heart and mind saw it as the angelic combination of white and gold.

“It’s clearly haunted, or cursed or something. So we’re having a special burning ceremony in Trafalgar Square on Saturday. We’re going to get a giant wicker woman and stuff it with fashion crimes from the last ten years, including ponchos, Ugg boots and tracksuits with words on the arse,”

Latest news just in – Everybody in entire world sick of hearing about the dress.