After a spelling error in a BBC science report, men everywhere are demanding a ‘Hardon’ collider be built in every major town and city.
“I don’t know exactly what it involves, but it sounds brilliant!”
Said a 21 year old student from Leeds, adding:
“I’m always looking for new things to stick my family jewels in, and that sounds sort of rough and exciting, and a bit futuristic. I’d imagine it would involve angry bionic supermodels with shiny metal breasts,”
A 57 year old pervert from Milton Keynes said:
“I don’t quite know what it is either, which surprised me somewhat, as I am well versed in most erotic delights. ‘Colliding’ sounds very sensual to me, and I hope there are some sexy lady scientists operating it, with glasses on and stockings under their white coats. Phwoar. I hope we get one in Milton Keynes,”
Opinions on how the device would operate are split. Some men insist that it would send their John Thomas into another dimension, where a sexy lady alien might rub a boob on it. Others suggest that it would simply vibrate a lot and jiggle around better than an angry washing machine in an empty laundry room.
A small proportion of men believe that a Hardon collider sounds like a sort of jousting competition in a futuristic metal bunker, and are already selecting their team colours.
A petition has been organised, and funds are already being raised for development of the device.
“We don’t know what the hell it is or what it does,”
Said men everywhere.
“But superconducting quadrupole electromagnets being used to direct the beams to four intersection points, where interactions between accelerated protons will take place sounds absolutely filthy!”
The Beezly Street Gazette 