Online auction giants EBay have launched a new app that allows buyers and sellers to zap each other with painful electric shocks.
A seller from Leeds said:
“This is absolutely bloody brilliant. I’m involved in a dispute right now, where a stupid woman that bought a £300 jacket off me for two quid is moaning because the button is loose. If I could zap her in the face with a bolt of electricity instead of answering her moany messages, I’d even pay the postage back,”
Buyers will be able to zap sellers if the garden gnome they ordered looked massive in the picture, but it’s the size of a matchbox when it eventually turns up two weeks late with its nose missing. EBay states that they will only be allowed to use the function if they have read the bloody description properly.
A spokesperson for EBay said:
“Unfortunately, the public can be complete and total morons sometimes, whether they are buyers or sellers. We were thinking of out outsourcing our gargantuan support team to somewhere a bit cheaper, but letting people zap each other instead of complaining to us about it is a far more satisfying and cost effective way of settling disputes,”
The Beezly Street Gazette 
Hope this is not for real. I sell lumps of gold and silver and bronze and always photograph them with a macro lens Ironically I add a disclaimer in the smallest font possible stating ‘no returns’ .
If this new app is introduced, I’ll just post using my old phone, cos these apps are usually just for iPads and iPhones
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