Welsh songstress Charlotte Church, who recently challenged Sun columnist Katie Hopkins to a charity boxing match, has now gone proper ape-shit and threatened to pull off Katie’s arm and chase the Prime Minister around Westminster with it.
“After I challenged her to a boxing match, I had a cup of tea and fag and thought about it. And then I realised I had to at least pull one of her arms off and beat Cameron to death with the sticky end,”
Said the singer, who shot to fame as an angelic classical singer.
“So I’m going to bang her lights out and then rip her bloody arms off, the moaning old Tory troll,”
“And when I’ve finished with her, I’m going to mash that smug prick Cameron in the face with the bloody end. That’ll teach him to be a lying little spoon faced weasel-shagger,”
The match is expected to raise nine trillion pounds for charity.
The Beezly Street Gazette 
what a stupid woman she has become. Concentrate on your singing luv!
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Not as stupid as tory voters
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Obviously not as stupid as you luv, as this is a satirical site and completely fictitious.
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I’m currently on hold while trying to book tickets for the wrestling match with that Katie tart, and they’re playing James Blunt music. Can somebody phone NHS 24 for me, I’m feeling quite depressive now, but I don’t want to miss my turn in the queue
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As a peaceful woman, I’d just like to send a message to Charlotte……I’m right behind ya luv! 👍 someone needs to wipe that smug grin off Hopkins face! And if it’s for charity, and even in the literal sense? I’m all for it!!
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I love the theatrics!
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I love Charlotte Church
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Good for you Charlotte!
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I think she needs to beat her weight issues before she tried to tackle Katie Hopkins and David CaMORON.
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It’s so nice to have a comment from an inspiration supermodel such as yourself. I’m sure you look perfect in a bikini. Many thanks.
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What’s weight got to do with it or has every woman got to have a stick figure in your eyes.
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good on you charlotte church keep up the good work
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I quite like Katie Hopkins, if it weren’t for her I wouldn’t have anyone to hate really, BA doesn’t like her much, face man says he’d do her but then he likes anything in a skirt even dame Edna everage oh Hannibal as always is being very diplomatic and says fuck it, kill her churchie whilst chewing on his fat… Cigar hmm anyway I do like this website it provides me with lots of up to date news for all the patients in my secure ward… Got to go it’s medicine time! Howling mad over and out!
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Wonderful story! It’s given me and my Cardiff friends much amusement. Thank you!
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