The British public has issued a statement to Prime Minister David Cameron, telling him to take his feet off the desk and stop swanning around like he owns the bloody place.
“We can’t fire you, but we’re watching you, you ham-faced little turdbag,”
Said the statement. It goes on to detail how the Prime Minister is traditionally a “keystone of the Cabinet arch’ and ‘a sun around which planets revolve’ rather than a swirling abyss of privileged smuggery that would murder its own constituents with a lump hammer if there was a quid in it for him.
The statement, which includes a great deal of colorful language and vulgar imagery involving goats, witchcraft and Jimmy Saville, ends with a surprisingly civilized reminder that the Prime Minister works for the people, not the other way around. Downing Street have declined to comment on the statement.
The Beezly Street Gazette 
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