A 38 year old man from Northampton that fell asleep on the sofa on a Sunday afternoon has strenuously denied claims that he was asleep, or that his wife made a video of him snoring like a walrus on her ‘phone. The video was uploaded to the popular social media website Facebook, and was entitled ‘Bob snoring on the couch hahaha’.
“I was just resting my eyes. I was not asleep,”
He said, adding:
“My wife is talking rubbish. She’s hysterical. I’m a very virile 38 years old, and I don’t fall asleep in the middle of the Hollyoaks omnibus, which incidentally I wasn’t watching,”
His wife claims that he was snoring loudly with his mouth wide open after taking the dog for a walk, and that she employed various methods to wake him up. She claims to have clapped her hands, called him by name several times, and waggled his shoulders.
“He was out for the count,”
She said on Facebook.
“No I bloody well wasn’t. I was just pretending,”
He claims.
“Sweetheart, I farted on your arm and told you I’d slept with your brother, and all you did was snort, and mumble ‘You’ve ruined the begonias. I’ll have to start all over again now’ and carry on snoring,”
“What? What do you mean you slept with my brother?”
Bob’s wife informed him that it was a joke, and she was just trying to wake him up because his tea was getting cold. She then showed him the video of him snoring. Bob claims that it can’t be him in the video, because he doesn’t snore, was only pretending to snore on the couch, and anyway that guy’s beer belly is too big to be him, and she must be mistaken.
“I think she must be on the change or something,”
The Beezly Street Gazette 
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