Scientists have measured 15000 male appendages from all over the world to determine the average size. But almost every man in the study is complaining that they weren’t measured accurately enough.
“By my measurements, it’s actually 4.8.3 inches, or exactly mid way between the 6 button and the 9 button on the TV remote control. And to be fair, it was quite nippy in that room,”
Said a man from Manchester that took part in the study.
The BJU International journal of urology insists that all measurements were accurately taken and double-checked by scientists.
“Nah,” said a man from Dublin. “It was having an off day. I must have been dehydrated or something. And it was snowing outside, and I was wearing unusually thin trousers that day. I want to go back and get it measured again,”
“Male appendages are very much much of a muchness,” said a doctor in the study. “It’s unusual to get an especially large or small one, but men can worry about the size a great deal. We created a graph to show actual sizes of real, ordinary men, to reassure anyone that’s worried about the size,”
“Well I’m not worried about the size,” said a man from South America. “Why would I worry? I’ve never had any complaints. The scientist was probably freaked out by the size of it, and that’s why the measurement was off. It’s at least three quarters of a centimetre bigger than that. It’s winter too, and the tape measure was cold,”
The Beezly Street Gazette 
Centimetres, I don’t want to blow my own trumpet, (and I can) but I thought the figures stated were in inches.
I feel much better now after a long hard search for enhancers in the small ads in Exchange and Mart.
Hopefully my freakish proportions can be seen in a positive light by viewers to my website 🙂
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