‘Punch In The Face’ Machine Launched

A new invention that punches people in the face on your behalf could hit the shelves as early as November.

james blunt

Designed to be used on exes, traffic wardens, people whose dogs poo on your driveway every day and celebrities like James Blunt, the device uses facial & voice recognition technology, GPS and a boxing glove on a spring to administer a satisfying smack in the gob to the idiot of your choosing.

Designed to be activated by Smartphone, the device sits harmlessly in the garage next to the broken Hoover, until it receives a punch in the face order from its owner.

Once activated, it trundles clumsily out onto the street & makes it’s way to the address of the target.

With a top speed of 4 miles an hour, it can latch onto busses and other large vehicles for a speedier journey.

Upon arrival at the target’s home, it trundles up the path, whereupon a small stick emerges from the front of the device and raps smartly upon the door.

If the door is opened by the target, the boxing glove is activated and twats them in the gob. This is relayed back to the owner by a small camera mounted inside the glove.

If opened by another member of the public, the device will conceal itself in the bushes and wait for them to leave or enter the property.

When the mission is complete, the device will trundle grumpily home mumbling “Two thousand dollars worth of futuristic technology, and I all I ever do is punch people in the face,” and park itself in the garage.

Comments

  1. I love Beezly Street as much as I think James Blunt’s music is awful, but I absolutely cannot abide the idea of punching the man in the face. Quite simply, the man is hilarious – check out some of his Twitter replies to cyber-bullies – and would probably have loved a site like Beezley Street. Can we not change it to celebrities that absolutely DO need a punch in the face, like Robin Thicke or Kanye?

    Like

    • James Blunt IS hilarious on Twitter, and of course he doesn’t really deserve a punch in the face for his awful music, even from a high-tech robot. Robin Thicke is a great suggestion & very tempting 🙂

      Like

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