Farage In Skiddy Undies Row

The dry cleaner at the center of a dispute with Ukip leader Nigel Farage, has revealed that the MP has “Dead, dead skiddy” underwear.

Mr. Kahn, 47 from Manchester, has owned the dry cleaners for 15 years. He claims that Farage has not paid his dry cleaning bill for 3 weeks, and refused to clean any more clothes for him.

“I normally clean suits and jackets for Mr. Farage. But one time he’d been on a conference, and he pulled his suit out of the bag, and some underpants fell out onto the counter. And they were right skiddy. It was like multiple skids, Like he’d worn them two days in a row and not bothered to wipe. I’d estimate by the size of the skids he’d worn them two to three days in a row,”

Farage claims that his dry cleaning bill is up to date, a claim Mr. Kahn’s wife disputes.

“Lying sod! I do the accounts, and he hasn’t paid in 3 weeks. My husband told me about the skiddy underpants. Every time I see him on TV now, he just reminds me of skiddy underpants and puts me off my biscuit, if I’m having one at the time,”

A spokesman for Farage has strenuously denied the skiddy underpant claim, dismissing it as a “Smear attempt,” and claiming that Farage changes his underpants daily, and would continue to do so, even if he were camping, on a desert island or even at the Download music festival.