Benadryl Cucumber In Shock Over Name Ban

In a bid to encourage creativity in adults, the Arts Council has implemented a media-wide ban on pronouncing the name of the popular actor and star of ‘Sherlock’, Cumberdick Benderbatch.


A spokesperson for the Arts Council said:

“Word games and riddles are shown to promote creativity and stimulate the brain. By forcing broadcasters and journalists to come up with alternatives for popular words and phrases, and making the public work out what they mean, we’re increasing the creativity of the nation by around 16%, with no need to take any dreadful pottery classes, or help fill the already overstuffed coffers of happy-go-lucky Tory Kirstie Allsop.

“When we ran several thousand Internet sites, magazines and newspapers through our computers, the most used phrase, word or saying of 2014 was the name of the popular TV star, Eggsbenedict Cucumberpatch,”

With the ban on pronouncing Burgervan Countertop correctly in force from midnight, it has been left up to the press how best to pronounce Genuflect Crucifix. The actor himself is said to be “astonished” by the ban, adding:

“I don’t know why my name has been picked out of the hat. There is nothing wrong with the name Birkenstock Cummerbund. My grandfather and his father were both called Benny Hill’s Cadaver, and I see nothing funny about the name at all,”


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